Hoping to make all these jokes seem silly, but still have to laugh at the humour at the expense of the Leafs
J: How many Leafs does it take to change a light bulb?
L: One … and there’s nothing funny about it.
J: The O.P.P. are cracking down on speeders heading into Toronto.
For the first offense,they give you two Toronto Maple Leaf tickets.
If you get stopped a second time, they make you use them.
J: What do you call 30 millionaires around a TV watching the Stanley Cup
L: The Toronto Maple Leafs
J: How do you keep the Toronto Maple Leafs out of your yard?
L: Put up a goal net.
J: What do you call a Toronto Maple Leaf with a Stanley Cup ring?
J: How many Toronto Maple Leafs does it take to win a Stanley Cup?
L: Nobody knows and we may never find out.
J: What do the Toronto Maple Leafs and possums have in common?
L: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road.
J: What do the Toronto Maple Leafs and the Titanic have in common?
L: They both look good until they hit the ice!
J: What’s the difference between Frequent Flyer Miles and the Toronto Maple Leafs?
L: Frequent Flyer Miles earn points.
J: Why do Maple Leafs fans drink from a saucer?
L: Because the cup’s always in Detroit!
J: Why did the Maple Leafs enforcer retire early?
L: He was ice fishing and got run over by the zamboni!
J: Why don’t the Maple Leafs drink tea?
L: Because the Canadiens and Red Wings have all the cups.
J: What do you call 5 Toronto Maple Leafs players standing ear to ear?
L: A wind tunnel.
J: Why are the Maple Leafs like grizzly bears?
L: Every fall they go into hibernation.
J: What does a recent high school dropout and the Toronto Maple Leafs have in common?
L: They’re both young, have no goals and no good prospects.
J: Why do the Maple Leafs fail at geometry?
L: Because they never have any points.
J: What do college students and the Maple Leafs have in common?
L: They’ve both finished their year by April.
J: What do a fine wine and the Toronto Maple Leafs have in common?
L: They both spend a lot of time in the cellar, cost too much and are only enjoyed on select occasions.
J: Why is the Hockey Hall Of Fame in Toronto?
L: It’s the only way Leafs fans can get to see the Stanley Cup!
J: What song do Toronto Maple Leafs fans sing before the end of the third period?
L: Nobody knows. There’s never any of them left.
J: Why did the little boy take his hockey stick up into a tree?
L: He wanted to play with the Maple Leafs.
J: How many Toronto Maple Leafs does it take to change a tire?
L: One, unless it’s a blowout, in which case they all show up
J: What do you call 23 millionaires around a TV watching the Stanley Cup Finals?
L: The Toronto Maple Leafs.
J: How can you tell if a Maple Leafs fan just sent you a fax?
L: There’s a stamp on it!
J: If you have a car containing a Maple Leafs forward, a Maple Leafs center, and a Maple Leafs defender, who is driving the car?
L: The cop.
Q. How did the Toronto Maple Leafs fan die from drinking milk?
A. The cow fell on him!
J: What does an Toronto Maple Leafs fan do when his team has won the Stanley Cup?
L: He turns off the PlayStation 3.
J: How many Toronto Maple Leafs fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
L: None. Lava lamps don’t burn out man!
J: Why doesn’t Windsor have a professional hockey team?
L: Because then Toronto would want one.
J: Did you hear that Toronto’s hockey team doesn’t have a website?
L: They can’t string three “Ws” together.
J: Why did BP hire the Toronto Maple Leafs to clean up the Gulf oil spill?
L: Because they’ll go out there and throw in the towel!
J: What’s the difference between the Toronto Raptors and the Toronto Maple Leafs?
L: The Raptors shoot at a net.
J: Why are the Toronto Maple Leafs like Canada Post?
L: They both wear uniforms and don’t deliver!